It’s a common problem and one many people want to know the answer to: how to build self esteem. Psychologists have determined many causes of low self esteem, and often there may be several factors or reasons behind low self esteem. Most of the time, it’s not just one cause or problem, but a combination of several underlying issues.
Identifying these causes is often a step in the right direction in figuring out how to build self esteem. Once the causes have been determined, one can then move towards building up confidence. This is important for one’s personal growth and peace of mind. Better self esteem can lead to better personal relationships, a more professional vibe which could lead to a better career trajectory, and simply overall confidence that could lead one to build a better, happier life.
Although it may seem like one’s issues are too difficult to solve, there are actually several common causes of low self esteem. Identifying these issues make it easier to solve them — because you know other people have experienced it too, you know you’re not alone in being someone who wants to know how to build self esteem.
Here are some critical causes of low self esteem:
1. Critical, overprotective, or overbearing parents: Many parents tend to put much pressure on their children, resulting in them being one of the most common and pervasive causes of low self esteem. Some parents, frustrated that they couldn’t follow their dreams or ambitions, end up living vicariously through their children and putting tremendous pressure on them. These parents may tell children they are not good enough, or handsome enough, or smart enough. After being constantly told they are not ‘enough’ for their parents’ standards, these children may come to feel that they are worthless.
2. Childhood loss: Traumatic experiences in childhood are also very common causes of low self esteem. Whatever happened in one’s childhood can have lasting effects into adulthood. If a person has had a good, loving childhood, then there is a better chance of him growing up to be well adjusted. If a person has had a terrible one, then this may cause the person to feel he is good for nothing.
3. Alcohol and drug abuse: Most psychologists say turning to drug and alcohol are coping mechanisms to shut out the world. The thing about dependence is that it creates a vicious cycle of feeling bad about being a drug or alcohol dependent person, thus furthering a person’s feelings of worthlessness — and so, this becomes part of those common causes of low self esteem.
4. Neglect by parents and society: A person who does not get proper love and attention will feel he is not worthy enough to deserve love and attention. This too is a very common problem. To get around these problems, there are several coping mechanisms that can help a person rebuild his life. First, there should be that commitment and affirmation to oneself that one is worthy enough to be a somebody instead of a nobody.
These Other Guidelines are Good Rules Of Thumb To Remember:
1. Building self esteem through emotional self-expression: Let your feelings out. You deserve to be heard! Stop censoring yourself and believe that whatever you feel or whatever you have to say deserve to be heard. No one else can see the world as you do, so express them. Don’t be afraid of being judged. Don’t be afraid of being ridiculed, because most of the time, all you need is your own approval, not anyone else’s.
2. How to build self esteem through self-talk and affirmation: Tell yourself you are worthy of experiencing good things, that you deserve to be loved and respected. See the good in yourself and revel in your positive aspects. Stop bringing yourself down or thinking you are good for nothing. There is always some good in you — you just have to stop denying it and accepting that you in fact are a somebody.
3. Build self esteem through goals and accomplishment: another way of quickly boosting self esteem is by feeling a sense of accomplishment when you have done something. Set goals for yourself and work your way towards reaching those goals. The sense of fulfillment you’ll get is affirmation enough that you are capable of doing something wonderful, and that you are a person of worth in this world.
4. Build self esteem through personal wellness and body image: it may seem superficial on the surface, but it’s actually proven true and it’s tried and tested — doing something about your physical appearance can actually help boost your self esteem. You don’t have to be a size 0 model to feel good about yourself. The important thing is that you know you are taking care of yourself and making the right choices, and it doesn’t matter if you may not conform to society’s standards of beauty. Conform to your own personal expectations and measures of happiness.
Everyone says exercise is good for you, and it’s true; exercise releases endorphins that make you feel good about yourself. When you’re eating right, working out right, sleeping right, and generally taking care of yourself, you’ll feel happier and more fulfilled knowing you’re taking care of yourself because you know you are worth it.
It’s a long road that starts with knowing the causes of low self esteem. It varies from person to person, but once you’ve identified your causes of low self esteem, then you can now work towards building it. Believe you are worth it and everything else will follow.
